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2026-03-29 21:23:52
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Selzero
selzero@syzito.xyz
You can't prove she isn't the squirrel queen. Has anyone seen her and the squirrel queen in the same place? 🤔
WXYZ 7 News @wxyz7news Florida woman found in a tree wearing a squirrel costume, throwing acorns at police and shouting "I am the squirrel queen!"
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2026-03-29 21:26:47
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Adriano
adriano@lile.cl
@selzero
SVU's Sgt Fin is salivating and doesn't know why.
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2026-03-29 21:27:58
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Martin Rundkvist
mrundkvist@archaeo.social
@selzero
#nosquirrelqueens
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2026-03-29 21:36:46
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Michael Gemar
michaelgemar@cosocial.ca
@selzero
@quixoticgeek
You do you, sister!
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2026-03-29 21:36:48
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Kevin Russell
kevinrns@mstdn.social
@selzero
Ai
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2026-03-29 21:37:08
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Hans van Zijst
hans@social.woefdram.nl
@
Selzero
I would say she's nuts.
But jokes aside, it's not OK to publish someone's picture like that when it's obvious that they have mental problems.
If saying that someone is fat is "body shaming" and to be frowned upon, then publishing someone's photo over a "look at this idiot" article shouldn't be acceptable either.
5
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2026-03-29 21:37:29
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Chris Hessert
chessert@mastodon.online
@selzero
Why I'm not vacationing in Florida any time soon. Hint: it's the people.
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2026-03-29 21:37:37
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Susi
Susibryant@mastodon.social
@selzero
But what do the squirrels say?
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2026-03-29 21:46:10
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StarkRG
StarkRG@myside-yourside.net
@selzero
In other news, satellite imagery shows the Squirrel Kingdom mobilising their military. Though the reclusive kingdom continues to refuse any contact with the press, an unnamed source reports that the maneuvers are due to the mysterious disappearance of their monarch.
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2026-03-29 21:56:44
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Zalasur 🐸🇺🇦
zalasur@mastodon.surazal.net
@selzero
If not the Squirrel Queen, when why Squirrel Queen-shaped?
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2026-03-29 22:04:18
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decapitae
decapitae@mastodon.social
@selzero
How's is this illegal? Are acorns +5 against boot lickers??
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2026-03-29 22:07:59
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solastalgia kris ☀️🧘🚲
iyashikei_kris@mstdn.social
@selzero
Big boss battle energy
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2026-03-29 22:12:30
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Dana das Grau 🧙🏻🧝♂️
DanadasGrau@mastodon.social
@selzero
she looks pretty squirrelly to me
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2026-03-29 22:15:26
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thefathippy
thefathippy@mastodon.world
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/314/297/208/731/552/original/810c9ec6020decf8.mp4
@selzero
The Simpsons: Lisa Simpson, wrapped in a blanket, declares "I am the lizard queen". A doctor and security stand behind her.
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2026-03-29 22:18:14
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KSHernandez ♊(she/her/they)
kshernandez@me.dm
@selzero
Exactly! Let her rule the Squirrel kingdom in peace.
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2026-03-29 22:37:48
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AutistiCritic
benjamincox@writing.exchange
@selzero
I’ll have a pint of what her majesty’s just consumed, please. 🤨
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2026-03-29 23:01:12
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John K
snork303@toot.community
@selzero
I have been searching and have found no evidence that this actually happened.
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2026-03-29 23:17:39
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erinaceus
erinaceus@chaos.social
@selzero
Wait: Is the Squirrel Queen the secret identity of Florida Woman or is Florida Woman the secret identity of the Squirrel Queen?
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2026-03-29 23:22:56
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Noortje Van Leeuwen
Noortjevee@mstdn.social
@selzero
i have...i seen her and Doreen in the same room
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2026-03-29 23:24:13
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😀🚲
enobacon@urbanists.social
@selzero
Before the police "found" her "throwing acorns at police", what was she doing that's illegal? [Note I am not arguing here that squirrels are not legally allowed to throw acorns at police.]
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2026-03-29 23:29:37
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kiyomi
kiyomi@rubber.social
@selzero
Acorn crown and eyes so keen,
All bow down to Squirrel Queen!
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2026-03-29 23:35:24
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Coles Street Pothole
ColesStreetPothole@weatherishappening.network
@selzero
@MAJ1
Friend of yours? 😁
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2026-03-29 23:36:26
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Jacen
thejacenallen@mastodon.social
@selzero
for those that dont know these kind of posts are just copaganda.
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2026-03-29 23:46:50
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atraidez
atraidez@infosec.exchange
@selzero
Even the squirrel society knows acab.
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2026-03-29 23:51:33
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bit101
bit101@mstdn.social
@selzero
The fact that they got the orange jumpsuit on her without removing the sticks from her hair is very suspicious.
ah. I read the rest of the thread.
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2026-03-30 00:51:19
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BallisticPunk
Imgoneinpeace@mastodon.social
@selzero
I want to eat brunch with her for some reason.
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2026-03-30 01:24:02
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peachfront
peachfront@toot.community
@selzero
there's... a law against that?
1
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2026-03-30 02:18:56
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Gary Whittaker
garywhittaker@mastodon.social
@selzero
Ask her later when her meds are adjusted.
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2026-03-30 03:01:29
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No Way
nowayeast@mastodon.social
@selzero
why was a Squirrel arrested? Should have had animal control pick her up, test for rabies. Feed her acorns. Rehome her to the middle of the Everglades.
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2026-03-30 03:13:23
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Jordi (Tubal Hippy)
Jorsh@beige.party
@selzero
I think she may be nuts.
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2026-03-30 05:55:28
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It's Pronounced DEETS :anarchism:
PaulDitz@todon.eu
@selzero
is that even illegal?
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2026-03-30 07:13:51
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muddle
muddle@infosec.exchange
@selzero
https://www.fark.com/topic/florida/
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2026-03-30 15:13:13
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Christo. London, England
Christo_459@mastodon.me.uk
@selzero
She doesnt look well. I hope they treat her kindly
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2026-03-30 17:50:31
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Schroedingers_Cat
SteveClough@metalhead.club
@selzero
In fairness, it seems like a reasonable response to the world at the moment.
And she is not the most bonkers person in Florida even. At least, not when the President is down there.
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2026-03-30 20:50:29
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Janice
janice31st@mastodon.social
@selzero
can you talk to me?
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2026-03-30 22:58:38
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WesDym
wesdym@mastodon.social
@selzero
Looks like another trash and possibily fake post attributed to the same station that was connected to this before.
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2026-03-30 23:02:07
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WesDym
wesdym@mastodon.social
@selzero
As before, I did not find this story on this (real) station's website, and I don't believe they reported it. And as before, it seems to be someone's rather weak idea of a joke, exploiting the name of a real news outlet to spread what they apparently think is their genius comedy writing.
Next time I see one like this, I will permanently block both the person who originally posted it, and whomever boosted it to me. There's enough stupid, unclever shit online already.
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2026-03-31 06:48:52
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sarpau
sarpau@mastodon.social
@selzero
Well she does look like the squirrel queen
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![WXYZ 7 News @wxyz7news Florida woman found in a tree wearing a squirrel costume, throwing acorns at police and shouting "I am the squirrel queen!"](https://syzito.files.fedi.monster/media_attachments/files/116/314/088/420/972/634/original/ec79991f1ef058fa.png "WXYZ 7 News @wxyz7news Florida woman found in a tree wearing a squirrel costume, throwing acorns at police and shouting "I am the squirrel queen!"")
